Parents get angry at 16-year-old for not making food for her spoiled 11-year-old sister when she demanded: 'I told her no, but that she had two working legs'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Feb 18, 2025 12:00 PM EST

It's important to learn lessons about doing things for yourself, and the later you learn them, the harder that lesson is going to be. Some people, of course, manage to never even learn this lesson, but one would argue that when you come across these people those experiences generally serve more as cautionary tales.

The erosions of their parents' supposedly hard-and-fast rules and strict parenting beliefs have long been a frustration of oldest siblings. At any given age, their parents anxiously held more tightly to every rule, and more carefully weighed the risks of every new thing that the child might want to do, was carefully considered and likely to be forbidden—especially if it had a monetary cost associated with it. 

But by the time the younger siblings, and especially the youngest, come along, the parents realize that some things and some experiences their children will be ok even if they don't cling tightly to them and take on a more laissez-faire and easy-breezy outlook on parenting. 

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  • The older parents have probably also progressed further in their careers and money isn't quite so tight anymore, so the youngest will enjoy perks that the oldest could have never dreamed of and got to do things that the older siblings didn't at even younger ages.

    This, of course, leads to some resentment between the siblings and is the reason why some youngest siblings have a reputation for being quite entitled. Never having to deal with the hardships and scarcity that their older siblings had to, or having to fight for every opportunity. 

    These siblings clashed over the younger sister's demands that her older sister make her a meal, prompting their parents to get involved, inexplicably taking the entitled younger sister's side.

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    "AITA for making food for everyone but my younger sister?"

    I (F16) have a younger sister (F11) with a very strong personality. She often speaks without thinking which causes us to bump heads. She's said that I smell, that my breath stinks, that I'm a goody-two-shoes, and other stuff that really hurts my feelings. Often when called out she just says "It just slipped out," or "I didn't mean it like that,"
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    She gets upset when asked to do things she doesn't want to do and rolls her eyes, mumbles under her breath, or ignores people to voice her displeasure. I've asked her a question or spoken to her and gotten completely ignored until my mother tells her to respond. Or I'll ask her to do something for me like put my clothes in with hers and she'll refuse. Obviously she doesn't HAVE to do this, but if she's doing it anyway and I've done the same for her it would be nice, you know?
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    What gets me the most, though, is that she's the first one to ask for someone to do something for her, buy her something, or give her something. But she always behaves like having to do anything for anyone else is the worst inconvenience in the history of ever.
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    Don't get me wrong, I've tried calmly explaining why it's hurtful over text and in person. I've yelled and argued, but she's always got a laundry list of excuses. I said, "I can't win with you" and she said, "So why do you keep trying if you know you aren't going to win?" in this really snarky tone. I've told my mom, too, but she just said that you can't force people to change, which is valid, but I don't think it's fair for me to be disrespected because that's just how she is.
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    Today, I was making breakfast for myself. There are babies in the house (not my siblings, but we're staying with a family friend until we can find our own place), so our host asked me to make them some too. I did, and my sister said, "I want some. Can you make me some?" I told her no, but that she had two working legs and was more than welcome to make some herself.
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    My mom said that I'd better make everyone some food while I'm making some for myself, and I said I'm more than happy to make anyone food that wants some, but I'm not making any for my sister because I don't do things for people that disrespect me. She rolled. her eyes at me and was clearly very upset that I didn't make her any food, but I ignored her and made everyone else's plate and sat down to eat mine. She kept glaring at me while I was cooking, and now I'm wondering if I was a little too ha
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    EDIT because I feel it's important: She doesn't JUST disrespect me. She rarely listens to my mother and kinda just does whatever she wants to do. It's well known that she's hard headed. EDIT 2: My mom agreed with me not making anything for her. After I told her I wasn't doing things for disrespectful people, she nodded and said, "That's valid".
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a ☐ le: I made everyone food but my younger sister because she continuously disrespects me and refuses to take accountability for it. I believe I could be wrong because the punishment doesn't exactly fit the crime and I might have been a little too harsh on her.
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    sp4rk1ejumpropequeen . 9h ago NTA, your sister is 11, and she doesn't have an excuse to act like a brat toward you, especially if you have done things for her in the past, she obviously doesn't understand right from wrong and i guess that understandable because shes a child but still. i think your parents should've taught her better. while it would've been mature of you to make her breakfast, i can see why you didn't.
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    StAlvis 9h ago • NTA My mom said that I'd better make everyone some food while I'm making some for myself "No thanks, but feel free to step up and act like a parent and do it yourself."
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    shikakaaaaaaa • 8h ago Completely ignore your feral sister until she comes around, if ever. If your mom complains you are ignoring feral sister then you tell your mom that she refuses to teach feral daughter that there are repercussions to behaving so poorly and that is her choice but you will for sure be teaching feral sister that there are repercussions to behaving poorly with you. And tell your mom she is right and that "you can't force people to change" but you for sure can force yourself to
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    Individual_Ad_9213 • 8h ago NTA. There should be consequences to your sister's sense of entitlement and disrespect shown to you and your mother. It seems that you're the only one willing to enact them.
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    CmdrHoratio Novastar 8h ago • Man, your little sister's in her annoying little sh phase, which will not last forever, just the next 10 years or so. Jokes aside, NTA, because while she's just a kid, she has to learn how to behave and mind her manners. It's your parents' job to teach her those, though.
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    54radioactive 8h ago. • NTA "She's just like that" is a good excuse for raising a child with no discipline. That attitude will get her no where in life. I see no reason for being helpful to her when she is everything but helpful to you.
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    Budget_Cookie6722 • 9h ago NTA and she doesn't speak without thinking, just hasn't had any true consequences
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    BayAreaPupMom 8h ago 11 is old enough to know how to be a contributing member of the household. Your sister appears to experience no consequences for not following through. At her age, she is not necessarily old enough to remember unprompted or without occasional reminders, but if asked to do a simple chore or task, there shouldn't be so much drama. This example is probably the first time she's had an actual consequence to her behavior. I suggest it not be the last example of a consequence. NTA
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    • Prestigious_Blood_38 8h ago NTA this is a good and fair lesson for her, very low stakes as she knows how to pour cereal. You're going to be a great parent one day!
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    Kamilla-moonlitt 8h ago • NTA. You set a clear boundary after being disrespected repeatedly, which is completely fair. Your sister's behavior has been hurtful for a while, and despite your efforts to address it, she hasn't shown improvement. Refusing to make her food wasn't about being petty—it was about standing up for yourself and not rewarding someone who refuses to treat you with respect. Even your mom agreed it was valid.
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    Top_Purchase5109 · 8h ago Top 1% Commenter NTA reciprocity is essential if you're always asking others to do things for you. She sounds like a brat and i wouldn't do anything extra for her either. Maybe she'll learn her lesson, but it's really on your mom for not addressing her crappy behavior
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